life as it is seen from my heart and soul

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it is life

life. how do we know what it will be like? how can we ever know the choices made will have such an impact on the tomorrows?  i struggle with this.  the ‘what ifs’ and the ‘ should i haves’.  somehow i need to stop feeling like a hamster on a wheel, but that is where it is right now – this life.  one day rolls into another with jobs and tasks and work and bills and expectations.  there are no others in this life but me.  it is each second ticking into the next one with financial pressures, job pressure.   life.
oh that i could see the eternal plan or how He sees me.  that i might know deep in my heart i have not been such a selfish foolish person.  to understand the Heavenly perspective would bring such soothing.  but i cannot and it is about trust.  this life is about trust.