life as it is seen from my heart and soul

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life as it is here

there are too many words in my head.
two weeks ago i called 911.
for my husband.
and i watched them drive him away.
i couldn’t go in to the ER.
so i called every two hours for an update.
and had him transferred to another hospital. where i could go in. and the doctors he needed were there.
i don’t think i slept that night. i laid in bed and thought ~ this cannot be happening.
but it was and it did.
he is home. he is on meds. and this was a warning. i am sure.
and the Lord said Yes, you get to have him for a while longer.
so i am blessed with more time. to laugh and cry and wonder what God will do next in our journey.
what a shock. and then calling the children. because if i didn’t they would not have been happy with me.
and called the church. and his mom.
this life on earth. so temporary. so not permanent.
because there is more in Jesus. and that was the reminder two weeks ago.

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it is Wednesday

so, now that you know what day of the week it is, how are you?
are you weary? are you scared? are you tired? are you alone?
this pandemic. the new words we all use now. life as it is.
I have talked to the elderly and the young, to my children, to my coworkers, to my sister, to my friends.
No one has any words for life as it is now.
So I get up each day – later than normal, shower, get dressed, drink my hot tea, and head to my office upstairs.
where I sit all day on my computer, or both of my computers.
my contacts dry out. I sit in zoom meetings with coworkers as we attempt to figure out the next steps.
but we cannot make any assumption except that things can change rapidly.
faster than ever thought.
because of a silent virus that lives for a long time. that infects someone and they have no symptoms. a virus that might have been created by man.

and we take one minute in each day. to discover that we are not in charge.
that no matter how much you attempt to micromanage anything, you can’t.
because this past Sunday, Easter Sunday, the Son of God rose from the dead and conquered death.
because God, His Father, is in charge of everything… except man’s free will.
choices. the choices we make. in life. with relationships. with ourselves.
God allows us to decide. and then He still chases us towards Him.
because of His love. His love for us. for you and me.
so…if this whole thing has you in despair or anxious or depressed – let Jesus into your heart. let Him know your thoughts. run to Him, let Him hold you, let Him comfort you in this stressful time.
i don’t know what each day will bring. i don’t if i or someone i love will get COVID19. i don’t know much. but i know that God my Father, His Son and the Holy Spirit are with me. and they can be with you. I am NOT alone. and neither are you.
so blessings… be thankful for each day. for each breath. for each sunrise.