life as it is seen from my heart and soul

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it is life

life. how do we know what it will be like? how can we ever know the choices made will have such an impact on the tomorrows?  i struggle with this.  the ‘what ifs’ and the ‘ should i haves’.  somehow i need to stop feeling like a hamster on a wheel, but that is where it is right now – this life.  one day rolls into another with jobs and tasks and work and bills and expectations.  there are no others in this life but me.  it is each second ticking into the next one with financial pressures, job pressure.   life.
oh that i could see the eternal plan or how He sees me.  that i might know deep in my heart i have not been such a selfish foolish person.  to understand the Heavenly perspective would bring such soothing.  but i cannot and it is about trust.  this life is about trust.


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things that are hidden

difficult week.  good week.  it is really hot here in Ohio and i have worked every day in the  garden.  there is one bed that is particularly full of maple tree roots because of soil that had been placed in it from the start.  it was the only bed i had to double dig this year.  the other 5 beds are all pretty good when it comes to loose soil and aeration.
one of the girls heard from their brother, which is good.  but since he up and left his job and apartment and life, he still can’t seem to walk in young adulthood.  so while i was digging in the garden, i always pray. for him  and the girls and Gabi in uganda and Sam as he is in training for his next bike ride this summer and life… all of it ~ the life we live on earth. for the Hope of Christ’s return and do away with the evil one here.  all of it.

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absolutely perfect fall day

it is here… today … in little ohio…. the sun is gloriously shining, the temperature is perfect, and the leaves are orange/red/yellow/gold and falling lightly.
my stove is on the self clean mode, the dishwasher is running, my youngest is still sleeping because of a busy stressful week, i got a date last night with my Sam up in Peninsula Ohio, and my other two children seem to be calm and doing okay.  I have a home, food, love, life, health, the Lord, and i am blessed.
there is work to do for my students, work for grad school, laundry, bills, cleaning, but right now ~ at this moment ~ the view from my kitchen table out to my garden is amazing and i am so very grateful for the love of my Lord.
i am praying your day is a reminder to you of what the Lord has done.  may you be blessed by your view.

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friday nites

…used to be date night with my hubby.  but since he got on a bike I don’t think he will ever be home again on a friday night.  and that is okay.  it is amazing what has been going on with him.  and i have lots to do here.
like grad school is going to fry my brain!  i will be happy with a C in pathophysiology.  i hate admitting that, but it is the absolute truth.
i should be paying bills, but here i am… and listening to Matt Redman .  He has a new disc entitled 10,000 Reasons.  it is amazing.  amazing. that man is so talented.  i sure hope he is in charge of the choir in heaven.
my youngest had her wisdom teeth out this week. so the oldest daughter came up to help out today and is upstairs.  she is looking through boxes of her life… high school, France, college.  girls are all home.  i am blessed.
makes me want to cry.  i want my babies back.  but only if i keep all the knowledge i have now.  i want their sweet little smiles, their fat little hands, their padded feet.  i want to sit on the floor and play.  i want to push them on a swing.  i want to build a tent in the house on a rainy day.  oh the fun we had.  i am so glad i got to stay home.
but … the bills and the laundry and the reading grad school books are calling… so hope your weekend is a good one… enjoy each moment.

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trying to recuperate from this head cold/allergies/ what ever it is.  Maybe because my Sam is gone I get sick.   please go check him out… big bike ride begins tomorrow… Present Hope is training them today in Joplin.   He sounded tired last night and I expect beginning tomorrow our conversations will be short, sweet and to the point.  and pray for him and the other pastors please.
otherwise I have studying, reading, grading, cleaning, laundry, and bills to do…. blessings all!!!

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not the child laboring.. the kitchen laboring… just took jars of peach pie filling out of the canner.  will do one more batch of peach and then have apples to do…. pie filling and applesauce.  AND I have veggies to make vegetable soup base as well.  That gets pressured canned not steamer canned.
I love / hate this time of year.  I love summer coming to an end.
I love picking tomatoes by 5 gallon bucket fulls and then canning them into something.
I love the rain.
I love digging the potatoes.
school has begun, teaching has begun, and I never have enough time.
Oh well.   that is life… my life.. i wouldn’t change a thing no matter how much i complain.
thank you Lord.