life as it is seen from my heart and soul

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life and its questions

i am deactivating facebook for Lent. it is a good thing. i get depressed when i get on social media sometimes. the weddings, the grandbabies, the vacations, the new furniture. i am better off not knowing how perfectly perfect everyone’s life seems to be. because mine isn’t. never has been, never will be. my reality is mine and it is relatively imperfect. that is not a bad thing either. because without the imperfection of my life, i would not have seen Jesus in each moment.
so, i ask questions of God my Father… and i wait for the answer. but i know the answer most of the time. it is because He is good, all knowing, and wise. His heart is set on the best of intentions for me. living on this side of Heaven, i ponder how to live each day one at a time. some days i am better at it than others.

Joshua 23: 14
know this with all your heart, with everything in you, that not one detail has failed of all the good things God has promised you it has all happened, nothing left undone not so much as a word.    The Message


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this is september?

here we are in September. September!?? and we are still having 90 degree days here.  My garden is put away for the season already ~  unheard of before Labor day weekend. but everything here is dry and cracked and crunching in any breeze we might have. my elderberries did not bloom this year either. as I put the soaker hoses away and the stakes for the tomatoes that died i looked at my soil. I have fed my soil well over the years with mulch and compost. but keeping up with water needs was too much this year. I do not want my soul to become like my soil ~ cracked, dry, lifeless. Even the worms have gone underground searching for food and moisture.
So i rely on the Grace of Jesus Christ. His blood that saves me every day because I am human. I do not want to be a Martha, working, complaining, never feeding my soul.  I don’t do it well most days tho and end up like a martha. ugh. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world. C. S, Lewis. 

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mid July

looked at the calendar this morning…. there is 4 weeks to the start of school full time. I have too much to do and not enough time, always that way. Tons of rain here, but no flooding yet, more is coming this week. I have the tomatoes tied up, the food sprinkled in the soil and foliage sprayed with leaf food. The geraniums have been trimmed of yellow leaves, musty flower heads and dead stems. I have most of the peaches canned into jam, but will be canning the rest today in light syrup.  And my beans are looking amazing, so I will be canning beans like crazy in a few weeks, probably just in time for hotter weather!!!  Lettuces look good even though they got in late.
and life. Life in Jesus. life as a Christian.  one day at a time, seeing what others say and do. Love. how does one love NO MATTER WHAT? Love, the command that Christ gave to each of us. Love.

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one word

so, church did the one word thing this year and i had a word. BUT, in the last two weeks there has been ONE word that keeps repeating itself. on the radio, the television, things i am reading. Priorities.
so now i question if i have my priorities in line with God. and today it is really hard because of the blue sky, the wispy white clouds, the breeze and all the green color!!!

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since January…

after posting the last post…. I ended up in the ER and had surgery. I missed a week of work and clinicals. What an experience!!  Outpatient surgery, drugs, GI system totally messed up, and I felt like poo.  BUT it was a good learning experience which I never want to go thru again!!!
In the life I live other days ~ there is so much on my mind that I want to write but don’t have time. All I can say is God is amazing and I truly need to TRUST Him for everything. the evil one desires to deceive, divide and destroy but Christ is greater in me and I belong to Him.

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oh to tell the truth of our life

our life. full of ups and downs, rights and lefts, joys and sorrows. that is what life is about though as a believer in Jesus Christ and the Trinity of God.  we will live this life on earth to the best of our abilities in Jesus, clinging to Him. and right now we cling like a rock climber holding onto the small stones on the side of a cliff. we look up for the next steps He would have us take.
we have just returned home from a five day working retreat for pastors and their wives in the forests of Wisconsin. i cannot begin to tell how the Lord worked in our marriage and our hearts. He is prepping us for the next piece of the journey He has us on. and i will wait patiently not knowing anything about it, but knowing God the Father cares for us, Jesus has saved us and the Holy Spirit will lead us.
we left for the retreat knowing when we returned change was ahead. now we wait. it is not worrisome, it is not anxiously, it is waiting with the knowledge of His grace, peace, love and care. choices might be made for us, but God will use what ever happens for His blessing.

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bend in the road

the bend in the road is coming.  it begins on Monday the 2nd of June. it began before this date, but on the 2nd I begin a new career ~ as Nurse Educator. I can hardly wait. because it explains my job at the career center, obtaining a license to teach, graduate school and then knowing I needed my MSN and to do it in Nurse Education. I am nervous, I am slightly overwhelmed, but I know this is what I am supposed to do. God has been gracious in His leading of me. I am not the most receptive person to change, but I got this. and i can hardly wait to see what He will have me do other than teach.  A job is more than the job – it is about missions and ministry. Who needs me to listen? Who needs me to help them understand about themselves? Who will be teaching me in Jesus about me? i wonder. His hands have lead me this far and I will continue to let Him lead no matter what the world says.