brokenBread……

life as it is seen from my heart and soul


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2018

OH…it is here… 2018. In all of its fireworks eating too much drinking too much staying up too late too much…. the world celebrated despite the cold. and now, it is quiet and reflective in snow & ice & cold for much of us.
I did not stay up late, drink too much, eat too much or see any fireworks. My Samwise and I headed south… Atlanta. Drove the 9.5 hours… dined at Anticos for pizza then had gelato, then went to bed. Atlanta. Because then we got up, drove downtown and did the Passion2018 conference. Year number 4. to serve as Doorholders to 20,000 college students. to see Jesus in action, to watch the Holy Spirit moving, and to know that God, my Father, is chasing after them with wild passion.
I am still processing, thinking, feeling, wondering. If only I could describe the music reverberating the arena, the singing of praise to King Jesus, the hands and arms open in worship, the prayers uplifted to the Holy One. what a privilege, what a hushed honour, what a blessing to this old lady. and in the end we witness Hope, Faith, Justice, Mercy in Jesus.
there are other images as well from our journey. The little man sleeping on the sidewalk in the entrance to a bank, huddled in his coat, hat, gloves, blanket. The people walking in the brutal cold with their possessions in plastic bags. The hands and eyes of those looking back at me… I wonder why is that not me? how did this happen? what choices did they make to end here? what lies of the evil one did they believe that led them here? why can’t we do something about this?
and in the end on the last day in the last hour there was a young woman asking for prayer. and because there was only me I said yes and heard her heart cry out to God her Father for wisdom grace forgiveness clarity mercy …. for everything a Daughter of the Risen King living in the enemy’s land needs to survive the attack on her heart. her tears falling as her words poured out to Him. and i wondered Why… why Lord did You send her my way? I prayed and listened. and prayed more. I am trusting the Father that He will do what needs done in her life, and am praying for the blood of Jesus to cover her in protection and grace. as for all the students that were there… that they take what they heard to heart and lean on Jesus and the power of His resurrection… in whatever comes their way.


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last Friday of 2017 !

It really is the last Friday night of 2017… and today a 28 year old was buried due to opioid addiction. How does one celebrate the new year when their child has died? How do you get up in the morning? How do you eat without getting sick at the thought of never seeing your child again? in the depths of the swallowing consuming darkness God is there. His Son, the Babe just celebrated, took on this darkness and brought Light in to it. Jesus, Emmanuel ~ God with Us… is present in every nano second, every tear, every wound, every heart break. God’s heart was broken and He gave us Light and Life.  the scars of His beatings, His hanging on the Cross, the brutality we cannot imagine give God an understanding of our despair, our darkness, our life.
May these parents find strength and Light in the Holy One. to survive and tell the story of what He has done for them in their loss.


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the Glorious Season of Christ

it is here. the Birth of my Saviour. the Celebration of the Son of God. but not everyone celebrates. there is sadness, death, illness, starvation, suicide. Humanity. we are so poor in spirit without the Saviour. so broken in everything. I want to shout sometimes ~ can you not see what He can do for your heart? your soul? your life?  GIVE IT ALL TO HIM. let the One that comes this time of year as a babe in a trough… let His weakness give you strength, let His humanness give you Grace, let His pure Love save you from yourself.
i had a work retreat today. i prayed the entire way there… let me be Generous in kindness Lord. let me be humble in giving Lord. let me be like You, Lord. these are well-versed people in using others, in thinking only of themselves, in not trusting. Lord, let me be today what they need.
there is a Babe in a manger waiting for you. there is a Morning Star hoping to shine His Glory through you. don’t wait… go now, speak your pain to Him, cry your tears into His Hands, leave yourself at the manger and see how it became the Cross and the Empty Tomb. go now. it is never too late.