life as it is seen from my heart and soul

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the trick of time

oh daylight savings time ~ you cruel trick of time.
it might be lighter this evening but my mind will not think it the time it is.
and it will still be dark as i drive to work every morning.
there are many Cons of daylight savings time and few Pros.
so what is it about Time?
Lewis writes about Time in Mere Christianity and it makes me think.
really really think about the Presence of God in Time.
what is Time to God? is He not the Creator of Time?
was the Creation of Time for His purpose or mine?
the rhythm of Time and day & night.
the moon and the sun.
Lewis asks does God fit too many things into one moment of Time?
He writes the following: “Almost certainly God is not in Time. His life does not consist of moments following one another. If a million people are praying to Him at ten-thirty tonight, He need not listen to them all in that one little snippet which we call ten-thirty. Ten-thirty…is always the Present for Him.
so the Present in Time is always the Present for God.
Time is for me, not for God.
and my tiny pea-brain cannot comprehend this. how does this happen?
so does He see beginning and end at once?
oh my.
another thought from Lewis:
If you picture Time as a straight line along which we have to travel, then you must picture God as the whole page on which the line is drawn. We come to the parts of the line one by one: we have to leave A behind before we get to B, and cannot reach C until we leave B behind. God, from above or outside or all round, contains the whole line, and sees it all.”
so. Time is irrelevant to Jesus. but what does that mean for me?
my days are numbered. my Earthly days.
does Christ see it that way? does the Trinity move in and out of Time?
do i use my Time wisely here on Earth?
back to Light and Dark and now Time.
God sees it all. ALL.
and He is IN ALL.
so no matter the Dark, the Light, the Time my Father God is with me.
and in that, i will do my best. will you do yours?????

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Greek Orthodox Easter

He is Risen!!
and He is caring for us in ways we never thought possible.
and I am sure there are many that wonder how?
how is this His care when we are at home, without work, no food. sick. potentially dying.
but He is.
because this fall i am sure i will be losing one-quarter to one half of my income and potentially my job. and my spouse is losing income and maybe his job. this fall it will be harder… not just right now, but in several months.
there is no guarantee in this life. none. and at my age and with my life i understand that this earth isn’t the end of my life.
i have a better home with Jesus in Heaven.
so. i trust Him each day. to wake me up. to get me going. to allow me to breathe in air and work and talk and live life in His purposes.
it isn’t about stuff…. life is about relationships on Earth and in Heaven.
people. family. friends. coworkers.
we may not be able to hug each other and we might have to stay 6 feet apart. but to see them in person and not on their computer… oh my.
so be safe. wear your mask. wash your hands.
and know that God is in the midst of all of this ~ teaching us to truly depend on Him and Him alone for everything.

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about life. about summer. about weather. and the garden. and the crops.
how does a farmer do it? complete trust in what God provides.
we are 6 weeks behind here on crops. my garden looks good despite the cold temps we have had here.
and the rain continues. while other places are dry, we are soggy wet.

life moves on. in rhythmical 24 hours sun and moon seasons of life.
but to continue in grief. and pain. and sorrow.
to help a young woman in her last days. to bear pain and yet live each day, each hour. and to go home.

work. how does one talk about work? i need my job. i can’t do my job. pretty sure even if i lived at my office i wouldn’t be able to get the work done. and that bothers me. Servant Leadership. the theme keeps repeating in my reading, my conversations, my thoughts. why is it that those at the top do not get it? micromanaging doesn’t work. ever.

and children. oh the Lord does not tell you what it is about having children. you think they need you more when they are small and innocent and learning. not true. they need you more when they are 13 and 25 and 32 and on. and it breaks your heart still. because of Love.

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35 =

the # of years I have been married today. 35. I keep thinking how can I be married that long? How can it be 35 years??? I have had the last name Roepke longer than I had my  maiden name Love.  35 years. I am so grateful for my marriage. My husband loves me despite me. Through  the good, the bad, being well and being sick, being depressed, through children and miscarriages, through amazing ups and horrible downs. And in the center is God, the Lord of the Heavens that brought us together and has kept us together. Thank you Lord for my husband, his commitment, his faith and his love for me.

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and the truth is…..

despite the actions of men in churches ~ God is greater than they are. my husband WAS a youth pastor at a small church but because of what i would call lack of _______ and ________ and ________ (these blanks aren’t for profanity, but for the moral words i would use)  he was let go on the 28th of July with August 1st being his last day. it is sad. BUT God, in His infinite wisdom, knew this was coming.
the week before, from the 20th to the 25th we were at a retreat for pastors and their wives. there were 5 couples and 1 host couple. we were in the woods of Wisconsin without internet, television, and cell phones. it was fabulous. and the really really cool thing is we signed up for this in January this year and God knew.
our Scripture is from John 21 15-22. and since the retreat we have each had it in readings. we keep asking ourselves what is the Lord trying to tell us in this Scripture?  we continue to pray about it.
and I am beginning to crochet again…. I am excited to see what happens.
then there is the new job…. getting anxious/nervous/excited/and hoping God knows best.
Enjoy the week!!!!

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oh to tell the truth of our life

our life. full of ups and downs, rights and lefts, joys and sorrows. that is what life is about though as a believer in Jesus Christ and the Trinity of God.  we will live this life on earth to the best of our abilities in Jesus, clinging to Him. and right now we cling like a rock climber holding onto the small stones on the side of a cliff. we look up for the next steps He would have us take.
we have just returned home from a five day working retreat for pastors and their wives in the forests of Wisconsin. i cannot begin to tell how the Lord worked in our marriage and our hearts. He is prepping us for the next piece of the journey He has us on. and i will wait patiently not knowing anything about it, but knowing God the Father cares for us, Jesus has saved us and the Holy Spirit will lead us.
we left for the retreat knowing when we returned change was ahead. now we wait. it is not worrisome, it is not anxiously, it is waiting with the knowledge of His grace, peace, love and care. choices might be made for us, but God will use what ever happens for His blessing.