life as it is seen from my heart and soul

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Independence & Freedom Day

I am an American. Born, bred, breathe the Red, White & Blue.
but do not assume you know me because of that.
do i love my country? oh, yes I do.
would I die for my county? yes, based on what we were fighting for.
Freedom of Speech, Freedom of Religion, Freedom for Democracy.
culture does not dictate these freedoms – the Constitution does.
but it does not dictate my soul. my soul freedom belongs to Christ.
the Great Divorce is the separation of Earth & Heaven.
i am free in Christ living on a fallen planet known as Earth.
God is the Creator and Saviour of all – nothing on this Earth is capable of that.
I celebrate America – our independence, our freedoms.
with cookouts, with family, watching fireworks, listening to music.
good food, good fellowship, and praying for my country.
the best ever was Chenoa Illinois. spent a week with Seminary friends.
the parade is amazing. it is long but with much to see – floats, bands, military and the kids all got more candy than they needed. Flea market that had everything. Food vendors for all the food you crave that is bad for you but tastes soooo good. and lastly a fireworks display that seemed like it was never going to end.
today is the 4th of July – a celebration of the United States of America and Freedom.
be safe. be wise. do not assume anything about anyone.

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the holidays and reflections

it is 2022. half way through January. life moves on.
no matter what is happening or not happening.
life on earth. this life.
i spent a good deal of time on my own in my short time off.
i miss my three small children here. or my three teenaged children.
the holidays are not the same. and that is life.
i don’t mean to be depressing, or sad, but it is this life on earth that is not mine.
i cry for what has gone by and i did not appreciate it at the time.
i miss my grandmothers so very much. more than i knew. more than i thought possible.
i try to listen for what God is teaching me in this time. because we do not know the days we have.
so keep trying to be like Christ to a world that is hurting so very much it hurts others.
stay strong in your faith because we are never ever alone. ever.
right now in this moment of time i have too many people fighting for their physical life: cancer, cancer, cancer. oh how i hate cancer.
so keep at it dear ones. keep reading Scripture. keep looking out for what God is doing around you.
remember you are not alone.

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failing at life

we are, aren’t we?
tired. depressed. angry. working too many hours.
with no end in sight.
wondering what has happened to people.
to the world. to the planet.
too much mistrust and dishonesty.
so much about me, me, me.
i want to run and hide and leave this place.
full of hate anger despair death
much like what happened in the Garden of Eden
when eyes were opened to the travesty of humanity without God.
how then shall we live ~ as Francis Schaeffer once asked.
how shall we live in this time of turbulent trouble of soul & heart & mind?
we live like Christ – no matter what is going on around us.
to give love and mercy and compassion.
to never tire or give in to the weariness of the battle.
remembering justice, mercy, humility and how Christ gave it all.
walk with me into the unknown.
into knowing we belong to the King of the Unseen Kingdom of Salvation.
this Earth is not forever – the Maker of our Hearts calls us to something more in Him.
blessings on your Sabbath!

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many tasks to accomplish
many emotions to deal with
much work to do at my jobs
many people dealing with worse issues than I have.

so…. with that said. I spent a day with the people in Pittsburgh over the weekend.
The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.
how does one talk about what they live with?
my father had AML thirty-nine years ago. and i wonder if things would have been different if someone had reached out to him about his symptoms. he died after his first treatment.
before that it was my best friend from Cincy. we were 22 and both just married. and leukemia struck and killed her.
and now a good friend … ten years into the fight…. still trying to figure out best treatment options. still researching initiatives and trials. still. to live longer and better for herself.
in the end we live on this side of heaven, this side of the Risen Kingdom of Jesus. and thus, it is a fallen world – a world of sickness, sadness, evil, anxiety, depression, harm to others, so many bad things. in that we have the Hope of Christ to live one day at a time here.

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the journey is twisting

and life goes on. the Sun rises and sets. my frustration sits there. i do not speak it. i dare not speak it.
for the life i lead is not my own. thus, help me Lord. i am in desperate need of Your Guidance.
I meet with a counselor – she pastors Pastors in a different denomination. i trust her with everything i am. and her comment to me is Melinda, you have the toughest job being the wife of a Pastor. because you hear what others say – you hear how they twist what is intended, how they are unhappy because they think ‘the Pastor’ isn’t listening or isn’t doing what they think he should do or what ever they think. and she agrees that I cannot say what my heart desires to say.
so Lord. help me. in my silence to be like You.