oh, earthly life, so difficult and yet so lovely. beautiful one moment and then excruciatingly painful. so praying for wiser choices, but my gut tells me that a major change is coming and i will have to sit back and pray more. i start out thinking of myself and fearing how it will affect me – in the end i pray for my child, that they will choose wisely and think of how their decision affects others and that i will not take their choices personally. i want o ask God why? and what? what am i supposed to learn from this? and why? why must i watch this?? i want to turn the clock back and have a DO OVER. why can’t i have a do over?????
the garden is in!!! tomatoes, peppers, broccoli, brussel sprouts, snow peas, herbs, marigolds. now if i can just keep the birds out of it!!!! always looking for worms. we have a robin’s nest in our shed, 3 babies. but we think one has died. poor wee thing. and there is a baby bunny with parents in the yard. just so it stays out of my carrots and lettuces.
then there is work. i am still unsure of my new job. it is overwhelming, all consuming, time wasting, and extremely stressful. i cannot believe the nature of people – they are selfish and mean. they care not about the purpose of the job, but only what will they get out of it, if they do something will they get paid, the list goes on. i find them deplorable and very very sad. unfortunately instead of acting like adults, they act like spoiled rich 5 year olds. and here, too, i wonder what i am supposed to learn, what am i doing for the kingdom in this position, how can i be Jesus??
