life as it is seen from my heart and soul

the holiday is not

Leave a comment

i am sliding back.  if i had a conch shell i would crawl in and never come out until january.  i cannot believe how difficult this month has been already and the holiday is not even here yet.  i cannot imagine what it will be like as it gets closer.  what shall i do?  i think of jumping.  or driving.  or separating the flesh.  or crashing.  i would like to crash. no memory, instant, gone, poof. it just has to be done well.  that is how i feel most of the time.  if you see me, you wouldn’t know it.  i am good at deception.  which is guess you could say would be dishonesty.  so i am dishonest in my relationships.  that is the way i survive right now.  or i would be crying all the time and look horrible.  not that i am pretty or anything.  enough, so long.

Author: melinda

a follower of Christ & a Daughter of the Great High King of Heaven disguised as a wife, a mum, a nurse, a baker, a gardener, a teacher, an artist and many things unknown by others.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s