brokenBread……

life as it is seen from my heart and soul


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life.

it gets in the way. all the parts of life where I have to be an adult. like paying bills and being responsible and knowing  the right choice to make.  life. choosing between bills and vacation. or having to get buy a used car or groceries. oh life… why can’t you be simple? why do i have to be responsible? but I will be… and in the end all will be well.
trusting the Lord for the week. each day. help me to be You Jesus, in a building of empty hearts and souls that need Your Mercy and Grace.

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hope. life. souls.

I have been in my new position for just a year now. I cannot begin to explain what I have seen in people. I never thought at all, Never, that people would behave this way. Deceitful. Dishonesty. Mean spirited. Two faced. words I use to describe the evil one – who comes to crush steal and destroy the spirit. but now I have witnessed it where I work. It isn’t on television. It isn’t in the news.  It is where I work every day. and so now I am diligent to pray harder, to pray longer, to pray more. for protection, for the people I work with. because Jesus is King. and the evil one is a big loser.
oh Jesus, come to us. because You are Hope and Life and the only thing for their Souls.


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seeds, life, moons

hoping to order garden seeds this weekend!!! life from a dead seed…. so interesting to think about. and then there is the moon this week! if you haven’t seen it… go now!!! it is bright, and clear, and glorious!!!
back to the thought of life. life on earth… with the unseen battle being waged constantly. to and fro is the movement of the evil one all over the earth…. surrounding us, lying to us, shaming us with our past, hoping to trip us up and think Why God, would you do this?
work currently is very difficult. i need to be praying more diligently for my building. and my children. and my husband. and praying more.


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ice. snow. blustery wind.

we have it all here in north central Ohio. Yesterday morning I drove to work carrying my boots, gloves and scarf with me even though it was 54 degrees F. the warnings were out, the anticipation was there. Massive amounts of torrential rain with blustering wind turning to ice, then blowing snow then heavy snow. and they were right. Got an email we were to close at 1, then got a phone call at 1240 to close now as the rain was turning and the temps had already dropped from 54 to 33 degrees. so I packed up and trekked out. stopped at the GFS store fully expecting a huge crowd of crazy people and empty shelves! but… that was not to be – found coffee, cream, whole chickens to roast, needed veggies, and most essential- a loaf of whole wheat bread. Made it home with no issues.
What do you do with the gift of extra time? I could have used that time to work, but came home because I did not want to sleep there! Had roasted chicken for dinner with carrots and parsnips, made 2 coffee cakes for a funeral today the hubs has to attend to, labeling my yarn cards for my Woodland stripe blanket as my yarn came this week via Royal Air Mail from the Wool Warehouse , and will be doing other things today. Napping is one. Reading, writing, laundry, cleaning, watching The Smart Traveler and some baking shows too, and then who knows!
Stay safe! Stay warm! Jesus Reigns!!!!


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2018

OH…it is here… 2018. In all of its fireworks eating too much drinking too much staying up too late too much…. the world celebrated despite the cold. and now, it is quiet and reflective in snow & ice & cold for much of us.
I did not stay up late, drink too much, eat too much or see any fireworks. My Samwise and I headed south… Atlanta. Drove the 9.5 hours… dined at Anticos for pizza then had gelato, then went to bed. Atlanta. Because then we got up, drove downtown and did the Passion2018 conference. Year number 4. to serve as Doorholders to 20,000 college students. to see Jesus in action, to watch the Holy Spirit moving, and to know that God, my Father, is chasing after them with wild passion.
I am still processing, thinking, feeling, wondering. If only I could describe the music reverberating the arena, the singing of praise to King Jesus, the hands and arms open in worship, the prayers uplifted to the Holy One. what a privilege, what a hushed honour, what a blessing to this old lady. and in the end we witness Hope, Faith, Justice, Mercy in Jesus.
there are other images as well from our journey. The little man sleeping on the sidewalk in the entrance to a bank, huddled in his coat, hat, gloves, blanket. The people walking in the brutal cold with their possessions in plastic bags. The hands and eyes of those looking back at me… I wonder why is that not me? how did this happen? what choices did they make to end here? what lies of the evil one did they believe that led them here? why can’t we do something about this?
and in the end on the last day in the last hour there was a young woman asking for prayer. and because there was only me I said yes and heard her heart cry out to God her Father for wisdom grace forgiveness clarity mercy …. for everything a Daughter of the Risen King living in the enemy’s land needs to survive the attack on her heart. her tears falling as her words poured out to Him. and i wondered Why… why Lord did You send her my way? I prayed and listened. and prayed more. I am trusting the Father that He will do what needs done in her life, and am praying for the blood of Jesus to cover her in protection and grace. as for all the students that were there… that they take what they heard to heart and lean on Jesus and the power of His resurrection… in whatever comes their way.


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last Friday of 2017 !

It really is the last Friday night of 2017… and today a 28 year old was buried due to opioid addiction. How does one celebrate the new year when their child has died? How do you get up in the morning? How do you eat without getting sick at the thought of never seeing your child again? in the depths of the swallowing consuming darkness God is there. His Son, the Babe just celebrated, took on this darkness and brought Light in to it. Jesus, Emmanuel ~ God with Us… is present in every nano second, every tear, every wound, every heart break. God’s heart was broken and He gave us Light and Life.  the scars of His beatings, His hanging on the Cross, the brutality we cannot imagine give God an understanding of our despair, our darkness, our life.
May these parents find strength and Light in the Holy One. to survive and tell the story of what He has done for them in their loss.


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the day after the BIG weekend.

oh my. Christmas 2017. 72 hours of being 5 under the roof. of laughter, conversations, reminiscing of Grandmas, hearing them sleeping, seeing them as adults. It happened too fast but this year ~ this holiday ~ these 72 hours ~ what a joy to my heart and blessing to my soul. I pray Proverbs 22:6 – Train up a child in the way he/she should go, and when he/she is old he/she will not depart from it. I also pray that no matter what they do in their life, may I be like Christ in loving them – with a generous and merciful heart and open hands of love. the three of them, pictured to the right, all grown ups, all adults ~ responsible for themselves, their life choices, their future.
I sit here with hot tea and frosted cookies (knowing I should be eating the carrot sticks) thinking of life in our little old home. It has cracked paint, windows needing replaced, a driveway needing repair. But we are warm & cozy, well fed in soul and body, clean water, and a God that has come to Earth as a babe in flesh. how can i ask for anything? I ask for the Spirit of the Lord to quicken my children’s hearts and souls – to remind them of where they came from – more than Earth, but of Heaven. I ask to be His messenger to others – that what I will say and do will matter only in Heaven and not on Earth.
I sent food with all three of them as they left – the usual – frosted cookies, thumbprints, snowballs, turtles, hot dog casserole, shrimp jambalya, ham, cranberry relish, cheesy potatoes, green bean casserole, presents. but daily I pray for manna from Heaven to fill them, that they will find their purpose in the King of Kings and they will know real Love in the Saviour.
May you be blessed this holiday season and know the Peace, Joy, Hope and Love of Christ in 2018!!!!